Thou shall die

You need strength to gain some weakness.

I just finished reading “Macarthur” by Bob Ong and I can’t help but feel these different feelings inside. There were parts that I want to laugh because of Voltron, who unfortunately died because he was decapitated by some groups of people. There were parts that I want to cry because Cyrus accidentally killed the only person he really loves, his grandfather. There were parts that I want to feel like I was about to be a rebel because of Noel, who keeps on giving up his life. And there were parts that I want to feel a small glow of happiness whenever Jim tries to be a better husband to his wife and a better friend to his friends. The story has a great impact and I can’t help but praise Bob Ong for his another good old story. It was too good and yet too real. Well, right now, the story is still printed in my mind. The truth is, things like these happen. It doesn’t matter when or what, as long as you’re ready to face it.

Yeah, I am busy watching Death Note. Kami, I can’t help but fall in love with L. well, what can I say, the concept of the story is too unique far from the usual wishy-washy love stories I have watched. Yagami Light is also good in planning on how to kill L. Unfortunately; he got to kill L (so sad!). I was tormented with thoughts of Death Note since Monday! I was always excited whenever I got home and spend my two-hour vacant time, watching Death Note with my good cousins. This story is different. Yeah, I also like the live-action one. And I felt a sudden pity on Light because he put Shiori (his girlfriend) in death just to kill someone. However, the story is very unique, intensifying, full of excitement and full of mysteries. And L is my favorite character (hi!). Can’t wait to watch it tonight with my cousins! :) I LOVE L WITH ALL MY HEART! :))

*//

I didn’t attend school because I felt a sudden pain in my head. I am too lost right now because of something or someone. I voluntarily agreed to be the representative of our Religion Quiz Bee on Wednesday and I’m way to busy reviewing everything about St. Augustine. I hope I can win so that my adviser would feel proud of me (in my dreams). Well, my grades are okay but I still worry about my report card. Can’t do but just wait.

Eh, need to go. I will research for some images of Death Note and I will make yet another good layout for my site. So, jaa na!



Cath

Lost thoughts

I saw the sunset at the southern island on that day
Today's manicure color is like the color of the sunset
And same as me.

*//

Happiness has been avoiding for almost a week. I saw myself in the mirror twenty five minutes earlier; eyes were filled with bead of tears that is screaming to escape from it. I was feeling empty that I didn’t eat my dinner earlier. There is this unexplainable feeling that is slowly creeping throughout my system. There were no words to explain. I just do not know why I am feeling this thing when I can have fun, browsing my notes for the upcoming exams on Tuesday. But, how come I am typing here, confiding all my feelings? I just can’t say the right words so I am typing non sense here. And I am having a fight with my mom. :

Examinations will be on Tuesday and I have browsed some of my notes last Friday and Saturday (really?). This is my last chance to pass all my subjects or else I will thrown outside and be an outcast. My schedule has been going crazy ever since August started. Ah, yeah! I was about to post an entry when of all of a sudden, the electricity was cut! There was no electricity at our place for three consecutive days. I am really feeling lost right now and it seems that I can’t find myself tonight. Happiness can’t be seen in my days right now and I have a long way to chase it over. I completely lost in my own thoughts right now and I just want to escape the pain. I want to be at least happy tomorrow morning, without problems blocking my way. I want to be able cherish every moment tomorrow. I want to be happy tomorrow.

Happiness.

Excitement.

Emptiness.

Love.

Hesitation.

The earth is spinning under our feet. I feel it leaning. I have a dream that I can't remember but I don't want to forget it... I am lost.



Cath

Keep trying!

Truthfully I need more than anyone
Even if I hide my tangled emotions
Every morning I see a weakened true self
I want to destroy the mirror reflecting it
The wish to a starry sky is beautiful
Let it become a target, dive into the dirt lady let's go.

I don't care about anything
With a expression like I didn't care
In reality I was wishing for a long time
To wish for something I didn't have
More and more I can't restrain myself so keep trying.

*//

Yes, this will be a decent entry.

I was down for a month since our computer was broken again because of me. We lost all the files again for the second time and we fixed it again. Yeah, but it’s okay with me again even if my precious Eternally fiction story was also lost. I am really into making some fan fiction and I have my own site! I already posted one story and it is a Gokusen fan fiction with special pairing of Shin and Yankumi on the loose. I also joined some fan listings and some forums of Arashi. Oh my, Arashi madness! So, what else should I narrate for today? Yesterday, my brother and I were talking about various Japanese songs and bands since we are updating our computer again. The whole, we talked and I think, that’s the first time I talked to him seriously. He was uploading some songs and I was suggesting him to get the good ones.

I am really craving for some chocolates now. And we will have our oral defense in computer on Monday so I am preparing for my English speech (?). Also, I have to pass two projects this month and I need to pass my periodical exams no matter what happen! I am a little bit happy about my school life even I am really torn between the choices if I will join the COCC or not. It will have a good advantage to me but I don’t really like tying my hair into pigtails. AHHH! I just can’t take that out of my head. It’s August now and I am really confused about my school life. My life is already planned. I will study in UST and take up BS Tourism (it is my first choice!) or Culinary Arts (it is my second choice!) at CCA. Well maybe if I will listen to Utada Hikaru’s song Keep Trying, I will strive even harder, ne?

That’s enough for now. ;)



Cath

Kotobani naranai kimochi.

Yorokobi.

Life has been awful to me for the past few weeks. Everything was in mess but I was eager to learn how to keep them in their own respective places. Being the leader of the class took all my shyness away but still, I am that shy girl in the class. I was happy even if sometimes my stupid classmates throw their problems to me. Howdie, I am finally alive after several days (weeks?). I am kind of happy and yet confused right now. Happy because I am able to pass all my exams (really?) and the face that there will no classes tomorrow! Hurray, I will be able to finish my computer and math project tomorrow. Plus, I am planning of starting my own fan fiction site. I have lots of stories to tell and yet there is a few times left in my head. Yeah, I was watching Kimi Wa Petto (You’re My Pet) in Youtube.com and it was soooooo kawaii! I was overall laughing whenever Momo (Matsumoto Jun) and Iwaya Sumire (Koyuki) tease each other about their dinner and everything! The fact that Momo is only 20 and Sumire-chan is 28 but it’s no problem. Love is not a respecter of age, right? I am planning of watching Bambino (starring Matsumoto Jun from Hana Yori Dango) after I watched Kimi Wa Petto. Whoa, everything is going on a rollercoaster ride because periodical examinations will soon sweep the calendars – again! But it is okay with me even if I am kind of nervous on how will my grade be written on my report card since the grading system is averaging. Take that!

Kanashimi.

It's my first time to feel this feeling while I have various things to do everyday. Everyday, this person occupies my mind and I cannot help but wonder, why am I thinking of him when I can do everything now that he is not my classmate? That question infiltrates my mind whenever I see him, passing by and me, trying to ignore that strange feeling. It is been a month since the last tears roll down my cheeks because of his being dense towards me. That idiot. I am definitely trying my best to move on to this feeling. I think, my life is getting better without him by my side. All I want to do is to forget about him and the past, move on and face what’s real and what’s not. All I wanted was to have good third year life this year.

Tamerai.

I want to hesitate for a moment. I want to sleep and never wake up forever. I want to stay in this pure bliss that I am feeling right now. I want this moment to be freeze forever. If I could only do these things, I may be happy forever. I just cannot explain what I am feeling right now.

*//

New layout by the way. I know, you are getting suck up already about my previous layout by HYD is still number one in my heart. Gomen if I didn’t update for a month (right?) since all of our files were erased in our computer because I broke our computer again, for the umpteenth time already. But it is okay, our computer is alive again so now worries. Anyway, I really need to go now. I will post a decent entry but not now, I need to finish something.

Jaa na!!!



Cath